That’s not my most original title; in fact, I stole it from the title of a book I just finished reading.

If you haven’t read Why Do Men Have Nipples?, I wouldn’t bother.

It’s really a rehash of all the content you’ve heard before, and in many cases the authors don’t answer the “questions you’d only ask a doctor after your third martini” but instead fall back on the standard reasons it’s too hard to answer them anyway.

Answers include things like “This one isn’t all that clear” (page 125), “sometimes there just aren’t medical explanations for things” (page 154) and “the research in this arena has only been conducted recently” (page 196). If you don’t know the answer, come on guys … just say so.

As for the simulated “instant messaging” conversations scattered throughout the book in everyone’s favorite monospaced type, give me a break. They don’t ring true, and they don’t even ring funny. (And whoever did the typesetting for the book should really be out of a job.)

If anybody’s dying to read it, let me know and maybe I’ll send you my copy.

I got an e-mail this morning from the Human Rights Campaign, which is a lobbying group working for equality for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

I know there are plenty of people out there who think being gay is wrong, and I know there are plenty of ignorant, bigoted people in this world.

It just really sucks that people elect them to public office.

Listen to what Sally Kern, an Oklahoma State Representative, thinks about me:

The governor of Oklahoma hasn’t even bothered to disagree with these remarks, despite receiving a sternly worded letter from the HRC.

If you’d like to tell Ms. Kern or her colleagues in Oklahoma what you think of her hate speech, I’d be happy to provide you with contact information.

If you’re the type of person who allows yourself to feel rejected or abandoned, you basically spend your life handing out baseball bats to people, and waiting for them to beat you about the head with them.

Maybe time to stop handing out the bats?

My good friend Jay pointed me to this blog called zenhabits a while ago, and I absolutely love this post because it’s so true. How do you go with the flow, and keep yourself from losing control? In 12 steps, of course!

My favorite one is #4 … “get perspective.”

This is almost always my problem, in that I overreact (no way, really? me? overreact?) to things that are really not that big a deal.

Leo writes, “A week from now, a year from now, this little incident won’t matter a single whit.” Ha! Most of the stuff I go nuts about won’t matter ten minutes from now.

So, I need to learn to zoom out. We’ll all be happier!

Folks, I did it. After weeks and months of complaining about how much e-mail I get, I have achieved inbox zero.

It feels good.

Could someone please explain to me why I’m here:

instead of here:

My co-workers and I call the guy who delivers our mail “sweaty mail guy.”

Not to his face.

And yes, I know it’s mean.

But he’s really sweaty.

For the second day in a row, I’ve pulled into a parking space at work to find a person sitting in the car next to me.

“Well, that’s not so strange,” you say.

You’re right, it’s not. I get to work around 8:30 AM, and so do hundreds of other people in my building.

The difference is that these people are just sitting in their cars. The cars are running … they’re not on the phone, maybe they’re listening to the radio or whatever, but they’re not in the process of getting their things together and getting out of the car.

I find this odd.

Did you ever have one of those days where you just woke up, and for whatever reason, just felt cranky?

I slept okay.

Nothing happened.

I’m just … annoyed. Irritated? Angry?

(I’m sure other people have these mornings too.)

And I spent the 45 minutes of my drive to Somers telling myself to either figure out what was making me angry, find a reason to be happy and pleasant despite feeling annoyed, or (ideally) both.

No such luck.

Almost everyone I know is sick or has been sick in the past two weeks.

I’ve heard of the cold, the flu, the stomach virus … eww.

Since last weekend, I’ve been sniffly and sneezy and sore-throaty myself. Paul’s a little sniffly too, but swears he does not have a cold.

I think I’m almost done with mine though; I can actually speak for more than five minutes today without losing my voice.

So now of course it’s Luis’s turn. He woke up this morning not feeling too well, and I’m pretty sure he’s got the stomach variety. I just brought him some tea, and he’s napping in bed trying not to throw up.

It’s time for spring.