It’s so much easier, over the short haul, to lie to yourself.

But it adds up over time and makes your life a living hell.

So being honest with yourself, although difficult in the moment, is a lot more rewarding in the long run.

First, you have to admit it to yourself, whatever “it” is. Then you have to be able to say it out loud, and that makes it so much more real.

I had a fantastic conversation with my therapist this morning, and I was finally able to say “it” out loud.

My biggest fear in life is being alone.

That’s it. The biggest thing. My motivator in all things. And it has damaged (ruined?) relationships for me. It has hurt my career. It has made me, and those around me, suffer. If you’re one of the people I’ve hurt because I’m afraid of being rejected and abandoned, I’m sorry about that.

All because I’m afraid of being alone.

I had a really good session with my therapist this morning. We spent a lot of time talking about how I’m never satisfied … with anything. Ever.

So my therapist asked, "what is satisfaction? What does it mean to you to feel satisfied?"

And my honest answer was, "I don’t know."

Let’s think about that.

If I want to be satisfied, and I insist I’m not, but I don’t know what it means to be satisfied … then how can I be sure I’m not?

I’m going to spend some time this week thinking about what I really mean, and how I really feel, when I get angry/frustrated/upset about something.

Feel free to challenge me if you think I’m getting mad about one thing, and complaining about something else. It’ll be ugly, but you’ll really be helping.